River - Gen 2 Ch 7

Oh geez. You're not still worried about non-existent wrinkles, are you? Every time I look for you you're either scrutinizing yourself in the mirror or checking for invisible fat rolls. I bet you haven't even been paying any attention to what's been going on with Erika lately.

Something's going on with Erika?

You've got to be kidding me. You really haven't noticed anything different?

Well, let's see. She did interrupt me this morning while I was checking for new wrinkles. I think she was throwing up because she worked out too long with her martial arts dummy.

And she does seem to be extra hungry lately. But then she's never been shy about eating. Okay. I give up. Tell me what's going on. I don't have a clue.

River, you doofus. She's pregnant!

Wha...?? No way! How could you let this happen?

Your'e joking, aren't you? I had nothing to do with it. You and Erika haven't exactly been careful lately. And I distinctly remember seeing  Erika ask you if you wanted to try for a baby, and you merrily jumped into the sack with her anyway. Don't you remember?

Arghh.. now that you mention it, I guess there was that one time.. What am I gonna do? I'm not ready for a baby!

I can't believe you're not excited about this. Even Peaches is more excited that you are. Don't you want to feel her tummy? Or talk to it? All that cute baby daddy stuff?

Not really. Having a baby makes me feel old. I don't wanna be old.

You are impossible! Come on now. Don't you want to at least listen for the heartbeat? This is your baby, after all.

Okay, okay. I'll listen just this one time. Hm. I don't hear anything. Am I supposed to hear something?

I don't know! Can't you at least pretend you hear something?

Maybe I should read a baby book.

Good idea. Hopefully that will start getting you a little more excited. So, what do you want, boy or girl?

Neither. Or either. I don't really care. Erika wants a boy. So whatever.

Arghhh!

There is one good thing about this baby.

Only one? Okay, I'll bite. What is it?

Peaches and Erika are becoming really good friends since Erika's been pregnant. They're even talking about forming a band. They sound pretty good together, don't they?

Ack! What's happening? What's wrong with Erika?

Didn't you read that baby book? The baby's coming.

River! Don't you think you should take her to the hospital?

Oh, right! Sure thing. Lemme get the car.

My, don't you two just look thrilled to death. I'm kidding of course. Actually you look like two zombies.  But congratulations on baby Rain, anyway. And sorry Erika didn't get her boy. Maybe next time.

Next time? What makes you so sure there's going to be a next time? What if I think one is enough?

There's always a next time. You'll want another one soon enough.

I highly doubt that.

We'll see.

Uh..What's wrong with her? Why is she crying? She's so loud! How am I supposed to sleep? What do I do?

She's hungry. Pick her up and give her a bottle!

Uh... She's so little. What if I drop her? You know I tend to drop things a lot.

You won't drop her. Now just slide one hand under her bottom, and the other one...

Never mind. Peaches beat you to it.

Whew. That was a close one.

What do you think? I decided a new hairstyle and shirt might make me look younger.

Um.. sure.. I guess... but what's that smudge on your lower lip?

Grrr...It's not a smudge! It's a 'distintive look' that will make me stand out as the top mayoral candidate.

If you say so...

River, I think I hear Rain crying. Don't you think you should get her?

Just a few... more... jumping jacks. Maybe if I'm lucky Peaches will get her. She's going to babysit tonight anyway. I'm taking Erika on a date.

Hehe. Does this have anything to do with the wish that popped into your head yesterday?

It might!

New clothes, new haircut, new workout routine, and now a new car. I'll sure be glad when this midlife crisis is over.

I thought you'd be happy I wanted this new car. Nice family car, for my nice family. Just the kind of image I want to project for my election campaign.

Speaking of image, could that be why you're heading to the Magic Kingdom for your date, instead of your favorite steamy dive bar, Amazon Heat?

Could be... could be. But no. You know as well as I do why I wanted to come here tonight.

Don't mind me. I'll just let you get on with it.

Thanks.

Oops.

Careful there. Don't drop it!

I"m trying not to!

That's quite the rock! I think she likes it.

She said yes! And now for the second part of my plan.

Are you sure you just want a private wedding ceremony? You're missing out on all those wedding gifts. And no bachelor party? You're no fun.

I'm sure.

Erika doesn't like parties. She's a loner, remember. So I'm doing this her way. Now hush and let us finish.

I can see the headlines now.."Mayoral candidate marries long time sweetheart and mother of his child in private ceremony in front of the Princess Castle at the Magic Kingdom." This should do wonders for your campaign.

Stop it! That's not why I did it! I love her, and I want to be a good husband and father. I can't live in the past forever, it's time to move on.

Yay!! Midlife crisis is over!!!

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I pretty much wanted to give River a good slap for the way he acted the whole time Erika was pregnant - only one wish involving the baby the whole time she was pregnant, to read the book. The one 'listen to tummy' was the only autonomous baby action he ever did. And when Rain was born he rarely took care of her - it was mainly Peaches. Don't know if it was the midlife crisis causing it or what, but he sure has been acting weird about his baby.